Wednesday, April 8, 2015

G: by Group Hug (26 Ways to Die in Medieval Hungary)

Ever heard the phrase "killing with kindness"?

István II was the son and heir of Kálmán I (the king that died from the ear ache). He inherited a kingdom torn by varied alliances, the strongest of which organized around his blinded cousin Prince Béla. Kálmán made István king before his death to make sure he would succeed him; but even after that, István did not have an easy time ruling the kingdom. He still managed to stay on the throne for 15 years (1116-1131).

The history of Hungary at this point is strongly intertwined with the history of the Cumans, an ethnic group of Turkic origins. According to the chronicles, István liked the Cuman tribes and supported them, which put him at odds with most of the Hungarian nobility. When the king got sick with dysentery and was reported to be on his death bed, Hungarians took the opportunity to rise up and slaughter a large number of the Cumans. Their chief, Tatár, went to the king to complain, surrounded by his wailing entourage, recounting the injustice done to his people. István, reportedly, said "Once I am healed, I will kill ten of them in return for each one of your people!" His promise and his kindness made such an impression on the Cumans that they all crowded on him, trying to kiss his hand and hug him at the same time... And they ended up crushing the king so hard he fell ill again and died soon after.

Squeezing people with dysentery is never a good idea.

(At least he knew he was loved in the end.)

18 comments:

  1. Is it wrong that I laughed at the end? Meeting up with a group of bloggers and we were discussing group hugs for those that are anxious and don't know anyone... hopefully no-one will die!

    Mars
    Curling Stones for Lego People

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  2. Lol, dying from group hug. Wow. The end is hilarious thoug

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  3. Ewwwwww - "Squeezing people with dysentery is never a good idea." thank you for that mental image. I never would have thought of 'group hug' as a way to die :)
    Tasha
    Tasha's Thinkings | Wittegen Press | FB3X (AC)

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    1. Well they certainly got a little payback for squeezing him too hard. And maybe a few of them got some dysentery themselves for their efforts. Possibly in their mouths.

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  4. Awww, loved to death. I guess there are worse ways to go.

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  5. Where are the bodyguards when you need them!

    Now for the most inappropriate thought of the day: King go squish!

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  6. I guess he never get healed and some lives have been saved.
    Evalina, This and that...

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  7. Well, this is bloody!! Headlines read: Accidental Crushing Death of King Prevents Widescale Revenge Massacre. Hard to know how to feel about this one!

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  8. Being hugged to death sounds like a nice death, but not what's described above. Haha!

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  9. Some kinds of love one can do without!

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  10. Ok, that's kind of funny. And why you hire guards.

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  11. I suppose there are worse ways to go. o.O

    ~Patricia Lynne aka Patricia Josephine~
    Member of C. Lee's Muffin Commando Squad
    Story Dam
    Patricia Lynne, Indie Author

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  12. Wow, this is brilliant. Poor guy.

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  13. I must say I was waiting for that one.....God that was bizarre, hahahaha! sorry had to laugh, I wonder why he had such affection for the Cumans?

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  14. Now whenever someone calls for a group hug, images of this blog post will rush through my mind. And I'll be the one saying, "No squeezing, no squeezing!"

    Oh, and thanks for the advice about not squeezing anyone with dysentery. Good to know.

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  15. What a way to go! I agree with Trudy, I'll think twice about participating in a group hug from now on. At least I'll try and stay on the outskirts.

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  16. I couldn't help laughing. That is so ironic.

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  17. And all I can think of now is "You have died of dysentery." Perfect. Elle @ Erratic Project Junkie

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