Monday, April 25, 2016

U is for an Unusual Snow White

Brace yourselves, this one's gonna get trippy.

Created in a laboratory after her mother's untimely death, a super-strong albino Snow White lives flees the court of the new Queen Arrogance, and moves on to wreck the life and home of seven dwarves.
Yup.
Hófehér (Snow White, usually translated to English as Slow White) is a feature length cartoon movie that premiered in 1984, and became known as probably the trippiest product of Hungarian animation to date. It was never intended as a children's movie, and instead walks the line between satire and sheer surrealism.

The film begins with a sequence of queens stabbing their finger with the embroidery needle and wishing for kids. Then we get to Queen Constance Frigidaire, who is just lying in bed, reading trashy novels, attended to by his gorgeous and sneaky handmaiden, Arrogance (the other two handmaidens, Epidemia and Claustrophobia, have been poisoned on the Queen's orders to "model die" for the latest crime novel). Arrogance reports to the queen that the neighboring king just had a son.

Queen: "Do we have a child?" 
Arrogance: "Not that I know of, milady." 
Queen: "Did he die?" 
Arrogance: "You have never given birth, milady." 
Queen: "Give birth? Me? You are crazy. What are servants for? Go order a baby from the Professor."

Arrogance convinces the Queen that, following tradition, she has to stab her finger with a needle. Then hands a poisoned needle to her. Queen Frigidaire dies, but before she does, she wishes for a child whose hair is white as snow, and eyes are red like blood.

In order to cover up the murder, Arrogance orders a baby from the castle's crazy scientist, and decides to keep the Queen refrigerated until they can announce that she died in childbirth. The plan works, and Arrogance becomes the new queen, marrying dirt-old Leo Lion-stink, The Last Of His Name (who only eats grass and is obsessed with his pet chicken). Soon after the king also dies in an "accident" and Arrogance becomes queen.

The lab-created baby turns out to be a white-haired, red-eyed girl who has supernatural strength and can eat iron nails for snacks. Since she can't legally kill her, Arrogance decides to have her worked to death "under the forced labor law" (legality is important). Then she goes on to build an empire:

Queen: "We need a cause for war."
Professor: "I'll design a provocation boomerang. We throw it across the border, then it comes back and intrudes on our lands."

She also wants to marry the neighboring king's son, Alfonse the Short-Sighted, but Alfonse proposes to Snow White by accident. Arrogance orders the Huntsman to get rid of Snow White, but he fails to do so - the girl thinks he is coming on to her, and slaps the **** out of him. Then she goes to live with seven dwarves. The dwarves are named after the days of the week, and work in the mines putting stolen gold and gemstones back into the ground. At one point, one of them starts singing "Hey-ho!" and another one clamps a hand on  his mouth:

"Are you crazy?! This is copyrighted!" 

Snow White does not only get all the dwarves drunk, she also accidentally ruins the entire house. The dwarves tell on her to the Queen, who shows up to kill the girl, but taking a bite out of Snow White's apple pie knocks her out dead (she's not a good cook). Alfonse shows up, revives the Queen, falls in love with her, and they ride off together into the sunset. Snow White makes peace with the dwarves and they live happily together.

You can watch the movie in Hungarian here. There are also English subtitles available on some websites.

7 comments:

  1. SO for a change everyone lives happily ever after :) That sounds completely nuts, but a lot of fun.
    Tasha
    Tasha's Thinkings | Wittegen Press | FB3X (AC)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kinda :D It is implied that Arrogance will murder her prince for the throne... :D

      Delete
  2. I thought Pretear was a strange version of Snow White, but this one may take the cake.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Definitely weird but love it anyway! One of my favorites animes.

      Delete
  3. This sounds fantastic, I think I'll need to save it to watch after the A to Z challenge!

    Mars xx
    @TrollbeadBlog from
    Curling Stones for Lego People

    ReplyDelete
  4. What a totally demented tale! I love this! Queen Constance Frigidaire? Love that, too! What fun.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is the most twisted, strange, weird version of Snow White that I've ever heard of. Wow.

    ReplyDelete